I woke up this morning feeling fragile. It’s not a word new mothers like to assign themselves, be known as, or become. You know, that mother who seems like she can’t keep herself together, isn’t strong, isn’t resilient. But it happens. Some days, some weeks are really draining physically and emotionally. It feels as if that delicate balance we’re creating between motherhood and womanhood, needs and wants, happiness and tears, routines and chaos is unraveling. Due to growth spurts, developmental leaps, teething, jet lag, or illness (or all of those at the same time…it happens). It feels defeating and frustrating and dark. I woke up this morning feeling defeated, frustrated, drained, and fragile.
But it’s par for the course as a mother. I still remember a day, back when Freddy was only a few weeks old, and he was beside himself and crying for hours. I remember walking with him on my shoulder – my back ached, it was hot, I was tired – with tears streaming down my face because it felt like, in that moment, we were going to be stuck there forever. But you know what? Freddy outgrew that stage of inexplicable and unexplainable crying. He started to smile, to make us laugh, and to play.
So on mornings when you wake up feeling fragile, or those days and weeks where you spend every waking minute trying to sooth, entertain, and cheer up and unusually grump and fussy baby, remember that it too shall pass. And it’s ok to feel fragile once in a while. But we mothers are made of tougher stuff and you aren’t going to break. I promise.